Just A Tuesday

I just love the little things more today than usual.  The wheat is a blanket of green on the field and the sun is starting to shine with a promise of future warmth.  Still, the wind and clouds on the horizon remind us that bitter winter has not completely relinquished its grip.  I remember more today than usual.  I remember spending countless hours learning from Grandma's hands.  I remember long talks while we work.  It was at her hands that I learned to love and take pride in my work.  I learned to find joy in a beautiful bottle of canned peaches or a full meal spread.  I learned to find joy in dishes because it meant that there were full tummies and a happy family.  Today I watched Grandma grow old.  I watched Grandpa limp into the house and realized for the first time that they may never be the same.  They have always been resilient.  They have always been the markers in the distance, pushing us to move forward, to be better.  Now they are growing old and it is time for us to become what they once were.  Stepping out of the house, I see the all too familiar sight of unruly cattle, escaped somehow from the corrals.  My first thought is exasperation, my second is of action.  Luckily, some things do change.  The boys are old enough to be a tremendous help.  I slip off Liz's too small flip flops and step into much too large pipe moving boots.  I zip Matt's jacket over my nice sweater and head to the 4-wheeler.  Neal insists on being my chauffeur. 

Driving up, full speed, toward the ranch, I remember how many times I've taken that road.  How many memories have been made here - at home.  I have a fleeting thought at what used to be my life.  I think of the fancy dresses, the ambassador lunches and running around New York City.  I get a call from Illinois - a reminder of my recent past.  How they would all laugh if they could see me; my hair blowing in the wind, running around in my large boots, chasing cattle while talking on the phone.  But somehow, this scene is familiar to my soul.  This is where I feel at peace, working hard with the ones I love.  Like so many before me, I went to find my place in the world, only to realize I had known it all along.  I love running around like crazy.  I love the 4wheelers, the crazy schedules, the cousins, the sweet moments, the sunsets, the muddy, rainy miserable days of work, the canning, the pride in a job well done, the Sunday evenings on the deck, the tractors and trucks buzzing, the excitement of a new day, the sunburned, tired faces, and the joy in our hearts.